A Diagnosis

Today was a really big day in the smallest way. Today I got a diagnosis.

I have been eagerly awaiting this appointment with my new GYN physician here in Sarasota. I printed off all my medical records, filled out their paperwork, go to put the office address into my phone and it is says “2 minute drive”. Perfect. The office is pristine and very spacious. Everyone was very nice and hand sanitizer could be found wherever I should think to need it. There were only two other women in this pretty large waiting room, one of which was talking very loudly on her phone about the corona virus. Literally talking about how many people have died in which states, how old they were, etc. At one point the only other woman in the waiting room got up and threw a little fit about it— seemingly to me, but I just shook my head and made sure I wasn’t touching my face. Anyways, the nurse brings me back and has already read through some of my chart, which is always so helpful. She gets my vitals, asks a few questions and leaves me to the awkward moment when you have to get undressed from the waist down like Winnie the Pooh and sit waiting for what seems like 20 minutes. Reality, probably 3-4. Doctor comes in, introduces himself, appropriately doesn’t shake my hand, and then says outright “You have endometriosis”. He went on to explain that women with congenital disorders like mine involving bladder/bowel/etc have a very very high likelihood of developing endometriosis in adulthood. That, along with my presenting symptoms was enough for him to give me the outright diagnosis. I had to hold back tears (still sitting winnie-the-pooh style on the table) and asked again “So I have endometriosis?” And he said “Yes”. No one had ever said that to me throughout this whole process. I have a diagnosis. I don’t know why that’s such a big deal to me. It doesn’t change anything about how we are going to treat or proceed with this journey to finding relief, but also somehow it changes everything. Maybe it’s a type of validation of what I’ve been and continue to be going through. Maybe it opens up more resources and treatment options that may not be as available for this unnamed group of symptoms I’ve been blabbering to doctors about for years now. I felt this huge sense of relief when actually nothing had changed. That’s a lie. I take that back. Something did change, I trust this doctor. It was only a brief office visit, quick exam— but I feel like maybe he “gets it”. He seems invested and wants to get me better sooner rather than later. He recognizes the battles I’ve already been through and is ready to do whatever he can to help. Once the doctor left, the nurse joked that he doesn’t shy away from complex cases…he may even kinda like them. Well…I’m here, I’m complex, and I’m trusting you!